Thus far, we pretty much understand what a narcissist is and the traits and patterns one might possess. For the sake of those who are not so familiar, a narcissist is a person who is egoistic, self-absorbed and believes the world revolves around them. Their behavior shows in their selfishness and inability to connect with people on a deeper level, unless, of course, there is something to gain; and in that case they are skillful at pretending emotional investment.
Though there are a plethora of articles out there that sketch out narcissism to the T, by highlighting the harmful tactics narcissist employ when dealing with their. However, identifying a full-on narcissist ain’t always easy. That is part and parcel of a narcissist’s deceptive nature. They hide in plain sight. Because of that, Self-Crowned decided to flip the script to directly benefit victims. In this piece, we point out xx situations that scream you have experienced narcissistic abuse.
An early sign of narcissistic entanglement is an overwhelming sense of love vibes at the onset of a relationship. You are floating on cloud nine, your mate makes you feel everything all at once: adored, beautiful, blessed, flattery, fulfilled, loved, marriageable, perfect, praise, respect, responsible, secure, sexy, smart, trusted, valued, winning. It’s not that you can’t be all these at once, but discovering these things about a person comes over time. Yet, narcissist’s tend to blow smoke up people’s ass almost immediately to disarm them and get them in their good graces. Be mindful of how you receive obsequious energy. ‘Cause Sis, it’s a set up.
When someone builds you up to be God’s gift, you tend to not only bask in all the glory, but go extra fucking hard to maintain or live up to the hype. You become so consumed with how you look and behave in your mates eyes instead of showing up as your truly authentic self. This phase is the breeding ground for anxiety and insecurity. At the point you start trying to prove yourself, you are officially caught up in narcissistic bullshit.
At this stage, you been knocked off your pivot and your pedestal. Chances are you feel uncertain about where you stand in your narcissistic bae’s life. You’re shook. The compliments have run out, and you’ve been taken for whatever it was you had to offer. Sex is no longer explosive, you feel less attractive, you think of ways to pour into your mate by giving more of yourself in hopes the wonderful gestures will return. You abandoned the things you loved to do. You hang out less with your friends in an effort to get that old thing back. You find yourself focused on all things bae. You submit to things and situation that you would not entertain otherwise. The egotistical lover doesn’t reassure you in this phase; it’s when he is most powerful — and you, your most powerless.
At this point, you’re tiptoeing around and walking on eggshells. You try to spark meaningful conversation because the last discussion erupted into a blown argument. And it was all your fault — or was it? You attempt to recreate the honeymoon phase, when all was exciting, fun-loving, and bae clinged to your every word. Nothing helps. One minute you feel like you’re doing the most. In the next, it feels like you’re not doing enough. And really nothing will ever be enough because the narcissist has already concluded they have had enough of you. Your fears and tears fall on deaf ears. The narcissist is not sympathetic because they weren’t invested from the jump.
The tricky thing with dating is that everyone wears a mask to present their best selves. With vulnerability and intimacy the masks come off. The narcissists masks never come off and it makes them that much harder to detect. However, the more self aware and in tune with your emotions, you better equipped with discernment and know exactly who you’re fucking with before it’s way too late.