Over the past few years, I’ve dated nothing but entrepreneurs. Men who, in my opinion, are ambitious, driven to the extreme, and goal-oriented. I admire that type of spirit and am attracted to men of this caliber. It’s like they are the examples of someone who is patient and who can make something out of nothing. In all those relationships, I felt completely inspired and safe. For one reason or another they didn’t work, and here I am single and trying to date and be open to different types. I met a guy and was excited about the possibility of getting to know him. He texted quite a bit to the point I decided to call him first.
He was having a side discussion and I was underwhelmed by his conversation so I opted out of calling, yet he continued to text until my engagement decreased to short, quick, empty responses. He threw out hints that we should connect. I agreed, but he never actually asked to do anything. So I withdrew. He continued text more frequently and as I grew silent. Then he began to send pics and texts stating, “It’s clear you are not interested,” “you didn’t comment on the pics I sent,” “I know you got my texts, we’re grown.” I sent a meme out politeness, but his texts and tone seemed to escalate. I chose not to respond. The next day, he text with an apology and if I was “still interested.” I blocked him. I’ve seen guys do this to women when they lose interest or don’t want to be bothered. Why is it they can handle it in return? Was there any other way I could have approached this situation?
Dear Confused One,
I can see where this type of behavior has you dumbfound, but don’t be discouraged. All men are not built the same. However, most fuckboys are. A common characteristic among them is there lack of motivation when it comes to busting moves and relying on women to guide them. And that really has nothing to do with his entrepreneurial skills or rather a lack thereof. I attribute it to being lazy, or a history of having their way with women, or it’s can be to create an exit route once they find no more interest in a woman. Non-investment and emotional unavailability helps that transition.
Now, back to your situation. It appears you gave the homie a bit of that medicine upfront, but rightfully so. You did go down that road many find themselves on when there’s interest and sometimes feelings of rejection. You my dear, deaded the bullshit as it presented itself. He could not handle it — and got caught up in his feelings and it exposed fragile male ego.
You handled it well. Let these types pass you by. Sometimes that pride can escalate to rage or even violence. Nothing good would have come out of a relationship with ole boy. They are dangerous. You saved yourself from a sinking ship and possibly stalking or physical harm. Pat yourself on the back.