Self-Crowned Q&A: How Do I Know The Wait For True Love Is Over?

After a 12-year relationship, I’ve been single for four. I’m currently being heavily pursued by a decent guy, who is also a family friend. He has expressed interest and invited me to dinner several times, over a year now. I never had the time or desire to meet up with him, though, he is attractive, charming, has his life in order, and is pretty much a good catch. My rejection has not stopped his interest. He even laid out his intention. Something about this gives me pause and after my last situation, I don’t want to be disappointed again, nor spend 12 years figuring that out. But I also don’t want miss out on love.

Any advice on how to move forward? I need answers.

Dear Hesitant,

Breakups are never easy. Coming out of long relationships are even harder as it takes time to readjust to being single and relearn our individual selves. Take as time as you need. Though, four years is more than enough time to heal from any past trauma and work through personal trust issues, and at some point, if you want to get back into a relationship, you’re going to need to test your growth. How do you do that? By dating. Dating is simply engaging someone to see if you connect and are compatible enough with another to develop a more involved relationship. But you do not have an obligation to date everyone who is eager to date you. You have a right to be selective and a right to deny anyone no matter what carrots they dangle to grab your attention. Trust your judgement. On the other hand, don’t deprive yourself of the love you desire moving forward because of the love you didn’t receive in the past.

Yours truly,